


Falling

by Gzmoii



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 03:59:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8188790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gzmoii/pseuds/Gzmoii
Summary: I thought we were falling together.
        I thought you’d catch me if I fell alone.      I thought that you didn’t care how hard I hit the ground once I fell, because you already had someone to catch you.     We were all wrong.





	

“ _I can’t take you everywhere I go, Sam. Maybe I should just bring Bucky, this time.”_

Sam hated Steve.

He hated him. He hated everything about him. He hated how Steve expected everything from him, but gave nothing in return.

How Steve could tell him he loved him, and then turn around and treat Sam like a liability. Because Sam was only human.

    _Only. Human._

Even in Sam’s mind, the worse were like a curse. Sam was not _only_ anything. He had never been, and never would be.

If he was _only_ a soldier, he wouldn’t have come out at the top, wouldn’t have been given the name ‘Falcon’ during the EXO-7 program.

If he was _only_ a counselor at the VA, he wouldn’t have opened up his home to both Natasha and Steve.

If he was _only_ a veteran, he wouldn’t have been able to take to the sky and help him take down Hydra.

But, no, Steve didn’t see all that when he looked at Sam. Everything that made Sam different, made him unique, everything Steve claimed to love about him, seemed to be downplayed just because Sam was a little easier to kill than Steve and Bucky.

Sam let out a loud, drawn out sigh. He reached across the couch for the remote, pushing up the sleeves on the sweater he was wearing. The sleeves were way too long, because the sweater he was wearing belonged to Steve. He turned on the TV, before setting the remote down and bringing the sleeves to his face and inhaling deeply. Both Steve and Bucky wore the shirt, so he could smell a combination of Steve’s and Bucky’s smell. Steve smelled like fallen wood and gasoline, while Bucky usually smelled like gunpowder mixed with the the minty smell of his favorite shampoo. There was always a trace scent of blood on him, but Sam had grown accustomed to it, and even found the smell comforting. The two of them, combined, smelled like home.

It was always the three of them, together. Steve was his boyfriend, and Steve was Bucky’s boyfriend. They had an understanding, and they learned to share without crossing any lines or causing any unnecessary jealousy.

Until now. Because, believe it or not, Sam was jealous. Unnecessarily, stupidly jealous because Steve left him behind, talking to Sam as if he was a burden on the two of them.

So, yeah. He hated Steve. He was seriously dumping him after this. He had threatened, jokingly, to do so a few times before, but he was actually gonna do it this time. No joking around. If he wanted just Bucky so damn bad, who was Sam to stand in the way? He should just give the two of them what they wanted and move out. He could leave D.C., maybe move closer to his Mama in New Orleans. She’d like that, and she probably wonder where Steve and Bucky were since she’d been so taken with them both, but she’d understand Sam’s decision and the incessant pushing for Steve _“to finally put a ring on my baby before it’s too late for me to plan the damn wedding, I ain’t getting any younger.”_

Sam felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He was wearing his favorite pair of basketball shorts, which just happened to be Steve’s as well. The man could ball, believe it or not. Sam’s cousins had welcomed the man with open arms after Steve kicked all their asses at 21.

Shaking his head to clear his fond memories of Steve, since he was definitely going to break up with him when he came back for Steve and Bucky’s sake, Sam unlocked his phone. It was a text. From Steve.

_We’re in the air now. Can’t wait until this mission is over. Miss you. <3 Steve _

“Give me a fucking break.” Sam said into the empty room, rolling his eyes at Steve’s text. Steve wouldn’t have had to miss him if he had let Sam join in the first place. Sam closed his phone, refusing to respond. He went back to watching his new favorite show on Netflix, _Atlanta,_ but not before kicking off the basketball shorts he was wearing. Stupid Steve.

His phone vibrated again. This time, it was a snapchat from Bucky. Somehow, he was the one who took to the new social media. Sam still rolled his eyes at Bucky’s private instagram account. He was such a slut for compliments, posting pictures of himself working out with the caption _100% prime beef_.

Sam opened up the snapchat; it was a photo of Steve staring at his phone with the saddest face Sam had ever seen. _Giving him the silent treatment again?_

Sam took a picture of the television screen. _Tell Steve he can kiss my ass_

A little popup went to the top of his screen, showing that Bucky was typing. Sam waited, crossing his legs. _I thought it was my turn to do that._

Sam chuckled at his reply. Bucky played around entirely too much, sometimes. _Sorry, you haven’t earned that privilege, Barnes_

Bucky’s reply came in seconds. _Y?_

Sam didn’t respond. A minute later, another reply came. _How do I earn it?_

 _Ask Steve._ Sam said simply. _He got into both of our pants, right? He must know what he’s doing._

_Which is exactly why he’s getting the silent treatment. The guy is a dumbass. Face it, Doll._

_...And he just jumped out with no parachute. FFS!_

Sam closed his phone after that, silencing it. Laughing at Bucky’s responses wasn’t going to help him keep a clear and focused head on his shoulders. Frankly, it would do the exact opposite, and convince him to try to find a reason to stay.

Okay. Sam was definitely thinking way too much. He turned off the TV, which wasn’t doing much to keep his attention, and went into his room, going through his drawers and closet, carefully packing everything inside of his suitcase.

This was for the best. They’d be better off without him.

* * *

 

        It took three days before Steve and Bucky came back.

    Three days, and Sam had been busy for all three. He had contacted his mom, got in touch with a few real estate agents in New Orleans, and washed and packed nearly all of Sam’s clothes and items that held sentimental value. Any furniture or sheets and blankets could be replaced once he was gone.

    He hadn’t necessarily done things in that order, considering the fact that the conversation he’d had with his mother was one of the hardest in his life. He had suspected as much, so he saved that for last.

His mother, Darlene Wilson, had started crying once Sam had finished explaining, asking him “why?” over and over. There were so many things that Sam had tried to say to convince her that he was making the right decision, the decision that would end up hurting the least for him, and everything was going to be alright. Sam had lived through so much worse. He wasn’t going to let a clean break with a man who didn’t need him be his breaking point.

But to keep himself together, that was exactly what he needed: a clean break. He didn’t want to wake up one day to find Steve and Bucky happy together with him sitting on the sidelines, wondering why he hadn’t seen it sooner, why he had allowed himself to be hurt.  This was the only way he could protect himself.

* * *

 

When Steve came back and ran to Sam, scooping him into his arms, it would’ve been so easy for Sam to melt against him, inhaling the scent of sweat and blood with a hint of wood and gasoline. But he didn’t. He couldn’t allow himself that luxury.

“Steve.” Sam’s voice was cold and distant, and the delighted mood on the room darkened considerably. Steve slowly set Sam down and Bucky hung back at the door, looking concerned. “I think we should break up.”

* * *

 

It felt like Steve’s entire world came crashing down around him.

What he done? What could he do to change Sam’s mind? He couldn’t lose him like this. Steve needed Sam in his life. Sam was his sun, his light whenever he fell into darkness. “...What? Sam, why?”

“I think you know.” Sam’s eyes lingered on Bucky, and Steve suddenly understood. This was something that, when they had first started dating over a year ago, Sam had warned him about.

There were times when Sam was triggered by something someone did, or said, and he just fell into a downward spiral. He stopped believing that he was wanted, and questioned the people who claimed to love him. And the more he questioned, the more unsure he felt.

Being the idiot Steve was, he was probably the one to trigger the downward spiral _and_ he hadn’t been there to pull Sam out of it. Sam had had three whole days to fall, and he was in so deep that he couldn’t even see Steve reaching to pull him out. “Sam, I-” Steve cupped Sam’s face with one hand. There was so much pain, so much hurt in Sam’s eyes, and Steve had no one but himself to blame. He did this.

“Don’t touch me. I’m...I’m moving out, Steve. I don’t want this to be hard for us. Just let me go.”

“Sam-”

Bucky sighed loudly, enough to get both of their attention, before pushing himself away from the door. “What,” He began, walking towards Sam in what could only be called his Murder Strut, “makes you think,” He stepped in between Sam and Steve, cupping Sam’s face in both hands. “That you aren’t loved? That you don’t mean the world to both of us?” Before Sam could respond, Bucky fisted his flesh hand in the shirt Sam was wearing-Bucky’s- and pulled him into a kiss. Sam’s hands fisted his hands at his sides, freezing up against Bucky. This wasn’t supposed to happen. He was in the way of Bucky and Steve’s relationship; they were supposed to just let him go and be together.

Slowly, Sam’s hands found their way into Bucky’s hair. Bucky’s lips were surprisingly soft, and when Sam tugged on his hair he moaned, picking Sam up. His hands squeezed Sam’s ass through the shorts he was wearing-his own, this time, because neither Steve nor Bucky had an ass for spandex-and he pulled away, leaving Sam flushed and wide-eyed.

“We love you, Sam. I’ve been trying to show you how much I want you for an entire month now.” He kissed Sam again, the kiss rough and needy, and Sam had no problem responding in kind. Bucky bit down on Sam’s lip, drawing blood before licking over the small wound and pulling away. “We need you in our lives. You’re our home, Sam, and we’re yours.” Bucky smiled and squeezed Sam’s ass once again, his touch firm and unforgiving. “What I’m trying to say is, don’t feel like you’re in the way, or that you’re unloved or unwanted. Because you are right where you need to be. So, will you be my boyfriend, Sam?” Sam nodded, but raised a hand to stop Bucky from kissing him again.

“Steve.”

“Yeah, Sam?” Steve was still looking down at his feet, hugging himself. He looked smaller than ever, and afraid.

Sam took a deep breath, before he spoke. “Don’t you _ever_ tell me that you cannot take me with you. You don’t make that call, because you are not dragging me anywhere.”

“I know, Sam, I-” Sam cut Steve off.

“I’m not done talking. Listen, _Captain America_ , and listen well. Anywhere I go, is by my choice. You are not my superior, and I am not, nor will I _ever_ be, anyone’s sidekick.” Bucky set Sam down, and Sam walked over to Steve, grabbing a fistful of the other man’s shirt. “And, finally, while I may be human, I am not _only_ anything. Do I make myself clear, Steven?”

“Yes, Sir.” Steve nodded his head, looking ashamed of the things he’d said to Sam. “I’m sorry, Sam. I was an idiot and an asshole for saying that shit.”

“You were borderline racist, Steve. I love you, but watch what you say. I refuse to be reduced to anything less than what I am. Now c’mere.” Sam kissed Steve passionately, the kiss all teeth and tongue, Sam biting at Steve’s lips and walking forward, making Steve’s back hit the wall hard enough to bruise any normal person.

Bucky came from behind Sam, wrapping his arms around Sam’s waist and sandwiching him between them. “So, you’re gonna stay?”

Hesitantly, Sam nodded. “I should probably put all my stuff back, then.” He mumbled against Steve’s lips, pulling away with a light smack. Steve had a dazed expression on his face, and his lips were wet.

“Steve can do it.” Bucky volunteered him, lifting Sam up bridal-style. “I need to go get to know my new boyfriend better.”

**Author's Note:**

> [follow me on tumblr if you want!](https://nerdbbks.tumblr.com/)


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